Friday, 6 September 2013
"My Favourite Wife" by Tony Parsons
I
have shared so many stories of human interest from self-development
books that most of you would probably think by now that I don't read
novels. Well, I do and many novels too. I would like to share with you
an interesting novel that reflects what's happening in China, Shanghai
really, as the country seeks to develop quickly. Many westerners are
attracted to Shanghai because they are unable to ends meet in their home
countries and in China, they are respected as expatriates and conferred
a lifestyle beyond their expectations in their home countries. They
have a fat tax-free salary, quality accommodation, maids, car and driver
paid for by their employers.
Against this backdrop the plot
is spun when Bill and Becca Holden decided to join the "gold rush" to
Shanghai, bringing along their little
daughter Holly. Things started off innocently enough. Then a family
tragedy forces Becca to return to London with their daughter. Bill
remains and in his loneliness in a foreign land, working day and night,
he befriends a neglected second wife that threatens to grow into
something more serious. You can feel his struggles and his inability to
find emotional footing for this dangerous development. You feel like you
can see him falling into an abyss, helpless and yet not helping
himself. His frustrations in failing to grapple with the situation puts
all he has at risk, including his marriage.
When Becca finally
returns, all of them are forced to learn something about the meaning of
love and family bonds, going out of their previously defined parameters
of love in a comfort zone.
This is a great read.
"My Favourite Wife" by Tony Parsons.
Story taken from "Love Stories of a Different Kind" Series 3 published by CAP
Segab's
mother died when he was 11 years old. His father married another woman,
Bizunesh. Segb did not like Bizunesh. But Bizunesh tried to be a good
mother to him.
She made good breakfasts, dinners and suppers
but he did not eat them. She bought him many good clothes but he did not
look at them. She gave him new shoes but he threw them away. Whenever
she spoke to him, he always ran away.
One day the poor woman
said to Segab, "I always wanted to have a son, and now I have you,
Segab. I love you very much, my dear boy!"
But Segab said angrily, "I am not your son, and you are not my mother.
My mother is dead. I do not love you. I will never love you."
Bizunesh was very sad and cried all night. In the morning she decided to
go to a wise old man. She told him about Segab who did not love her.
The old man said, "I can help you. But first you must bring me three hairs of a lion."
"But how can I do this? The lion will kill me," Bizunesh said.
"I cannot answer your question. I need three hairs of a lion. Try to get them."
So Bizunesh went out to try to get the hairs. She went far, far away
from her house and came to a place where a lion lived. The lion was very
big and roared angrily. He was hungry. Bizunesh was afraid of him and
ran away quickly.
The next day she came back with some meat for
the lion. She put the meat not far from him and ran away. The lion saw
the meat and ate it all quickly.
The following day she again brought some meat for the lion and put it a little nearer. Again the lion ate it all up.
Everyday Bizunesh brought some meat for the liuon, and he soon
understood that the woman was his friend. He was not angry and he did
not roar anymore. He was happy to see her.
Finally one day
Bizunesh came very near to the lion and gove him the meat from her hand.
At the same time she tore three hairs from his back. The lion was not
angry.
Bizunesh ran to the old man and showed him the hairs. "What must I do with them now?" she asked.
"Nothing," he answered. "You know how to get near a lion, little by
little, step by step. Do the same with Segab, and I am sure he will love
you."
Story taken from "Love Stories of a Different Kind"
Series 3, a booklet published as a CAP Guide by the Consumers'
Association of Penang.
Another extract from "TOP Performers" by Zig Ziglar
Loyalty
to the company is important, but the other side of the coin is that
management and corporation owe that same loyalty to their people. A
classic example is Ross Perot and EDS. First a little background. His
story is one of those rags-to-riches American stories with which many
are so familiar.
In 1958 a young American drove into Dallas,
Texas in a 1950 Plymouth automobile. He had virtually all his possession
in the backseat and his wife and baby in the front seat. He was a top
producer with IBM in 1958, but later he came up with a better idea in
the use of computers. The idea was so good that he decided to start his
own company. I don't believe there are many people in the United States
today who don't recognize the name of Ross Perot and EDS (Electronic
Data Systems).
Now remember, Ross Perot is one man. With a
limited amount of money of his own plus some from his family and
friends, he started his own company. EDS has made a major contribution
to the computerized age of which we are a part. And in 1985 EDS was
purchased by General Motors for more than three billion dollars.
One interesting and encouraging side to this story is the fact that
although EDS deals in computer services, it's a very "human" company.
Its management feels that qualities such as loyalty to country and
family, high business ethics, and a sense of fair play to one's fellow
man are all more important than job skills in a "total man, total
company" growth concept.
The purchase of EDS by General Motors
made Ross Perot one of the wealthiest men in the world. However, the key
for Top Performers is to understand why he was able to become so
successful. The following incident will give you some real insight into
the character of this very successful man.
When the American
Embassy in Iran was overrun in 1979, two of Ross Perot's key executives
were captured by the Iranians and put in prison. Ross Perot is known as a
man of decisiveness and a man of action. He is even better known among
his employees as a man of intense loyalty. He stands by his people and
supports them and they, in return, are intensely loyal to him. The
problem in this situation was what to do about these two men who were in
an Iranian prison. The answer - as far as Ross Perot was concerned -
was fairly simple. He had little confidence (because of the political
ramifications) that his men would see the light of day for a long, long
time. He even feared their lives were in jeopardy. He quickly called a
conference of his key executives in the United States. They mapped out a
daring plan for the rescue of their co-employees.
The details
are so exciting and so involved that space does not permit their being
told here. However, I encourage you to read "On the Wings of Eagles" by
Ken Follet, and get his full and exciting account of the story. In a
nutshell, Ross Perot was able to organize a campaign to get those men
out. He created a false riot situation, hired his own loyal people, and
they freed those two men from that Iranian prison. Is there any wonder
his people are so loyal to him?
Obviously, most of us will
never be called on to get involved in such a situation, but EVERY DAY WE
HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE LOYAL AND TO STAND BY OUR PEOPLE.
Another extract from "TOP Performers" by Zig Ziglar.
Excerpt taken from Zig Ziglar's "Top Performance"
A
glowworm does its fishing not in water, but in the air. It spins and
lets down fine glutinous threads. When a gnat or other small insect,
attracted by the light, collides with one of these strange fishing
lines, is caught and held. The glowworm reels in the line and consumes
the captive. If its hunger is satisfied, the glowworm puts out its
light. Otherwise, it drops another line for another tidbit. The soft
light that gives the glowworm its unearthly beauty is not produced by
the "contented" glowworm. The scintillating lights come from the
glowworms that are hungry and indeed earnest about their fishing.
Unique creatures though they are, these glowworms have qualities in
common with human beings. With us, as with them, the full stomach too
often brings about a state of complacency that dims desire for accomplishment.
The young man starting out in life is spurred on by powerful "bread and
butter" incentives. To be sure of eating regularly, he must pass
certain tests. He must be able to master the fundamentals of his
business, and to adapt himself to the conditions that make for success
in that business. Hungry with desire for life's necessities, he "fishes"
in that business in dead earnest, and if he has the right qualities,
his "glow" attracts success.
But, after he has met with a
measure of success, he faces a different kind of test. Is he still
impelled by a strong inner drive to fish hard for the really big stakes?
Many who pass the initial tests are stopped by this secondary test.
They stall at the top of the first hill. They are so eager to enjoy the
fruits of their success that they are unwilling to put forth the efforts
to augment their education, acquire specialized training, or do
whatever else may be necessary to reach still greater heights of service
and personal advancement.
Excerpt taken from Zig Ziglar's "Top Performance".
Story quoted by Zig Ziglar in his book, "Top Performance - How to Develop Excellence in Yourself and Others."
A
very wealthy Texan had a daughter of marriageable age, and he
determined to give her a "coming out" party. This simply meant that he
was going to invite all the eligible bachelors in the area over to his
home so that he could have a good look at them - you sales folks would
call that "group prospecting". His reason was obvious: he wanted the
very best for his daughter.
When all the eligible men arrived
from a hundred-mile radius of his two-hundred-thousand-acre ranch (with
scores of producing fully oil wells and thousands of head of cattle), he
called them all out by the Olympic-size swimming pool, which he had the
amazing foresight of stocking with water moccasins, alligators, and
other vicious beasts. He told the young men that the first one who
jumped into the pool and swam the length
would be given his choice of three things: one million dollars in cash,
ten thousand acres of his best land, or the hand of his beautiful
daughter in marriage. He even pointed out that his daughter was his only
heir and that when he and his wife passed on, all of this big spread
would belong to her and to the man who became her husband.
No
sooner were the words spoken than there was a loud splash at one end of
the pool, followed almost immediately by the emergence of a dripping wet
young man from the other end of the pool. He had set a world's record
that would never be approached, much less broken, in swimming the length
of that pool.
As the crowd of young men and the girl's father
rushed down to the other end of the pool to congratulate the young man,
he stood there in eager anticipation. The host excitedly said, "Well,
son, you've got your choice. Do you want the million in cash?" The young
man responded, "No, sir!" Then the host asked, "Do you want the ten
thousand acres of my best land?" The young man responded, "No, sir!"
Finally the host said, "Then I guess you want the hand of my beautiful
daughter in marriage!" To this the young man replied, "No, sir!"
Somewhat puzzled and a little frustrated, the host demanded, "Well,
son, what do you want?" The young man responded, "What I want is to know
the name of the dude that pushed me into the swimming pool!"
Story quoted by Zig Ziglar in his book, "Top Performance - How to Develop Excellence in Yourself and Others."
Happy Valentine Post
When
he was 12, Herman Rosenblat and his family from Poland were sent to a
concentration camp in Nazi Germany. Herman was forced to work shovelling
bodies into a crematorium. All the while he did not know if he too,
would soon be killed. One day Herman happened to notice a girl on the
other side of the barbed wire fence. He then asked her "Can you give me
something to eat?" And she took an apple out of her jacket and gave it
to him.
Soon this became a routine and the girl gave Herman an
apple everyday for seven months. Thir fondness for each other grew. Then
one day he told her not to come back - he was being moved to another
camp. "A tear came down her eyes," Herman says. "And as I turned around
and went back, I started to cry too. I started to cry knowing that I
might not see her ever again." Herman
was shipped to Czechoslovakia and two hours before he was scheduled to
die in the gas chambers, Russian troops liberated the camp and Herman
was set free.
Fast forward to almost 15 years later, Herman was
living and working in New York city. A friend set him up on a blind
date with a woman named Roma Radzika. Herman says he was immediately
drawn to her. When they began talking about their lives, Roma asked
Herman where he was during World War II. "In a concentration camp," he
said. Surprised, she enquired more and then unbelievingly both of then
realized who the other was! "Well, what can I tell you? I proposed right
there and then, Herman says. "I said, Look, I'll never let you go
anymore... Now that we are free, we're going to be together forever."
Herman and Roma have now been married for almost 50 years. He says he's
learned a valuable lesson from love. "Every morning when I get up, I
say 'I love you, I love you, I love you.'" Herman says. When they
appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show recently, Herman decided to honour
his wife again - this time by getting down on bended knee. "Sweetheart,
it was 64 years ago when I first saw you," he said to Roma. "My mother
came to me and said to me, 'I am send you an angel.' And a couple of
days later, you appeared at the other side of the fence in the
concentration camp. Then in 1957, 14 years later, I had a blind date,
and it was you. Now our 50th anniversary is coming up. With this ring,
my dear, I pronounce my love for you forever. And as this ring has got
no end, my love for you doesn't have an end.
"You have become the beautiful metaphor for what love can be," Oprah said at the end.
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
For
those who are avid fans of Dan Brown books, this is one you shouldn't
miss. I am aware of the controversy that the author has created among
the Christian community, with many Christian groups calling for a ban on
the film based on his most popular book, The Da Vinci Code. The crux of
the controversy is that Dan is a master weaver of intrigue based on
meticulous research. Hence, his stories seem to be based on authentic
happenings and there is always a likelihood that a reader may think that
the basis for his stories is historical and factual. Well, read the
story with an open mind and enjoy the intrigue but don't swallow the
plot bait and line.
The Lost Symbol starts with Harvard
symbologist Robert Langdon finding his revered mentor kidnapped and his
hand neatly cut off to provide the first
clue in Washington DC. The story moves around Washington DC with all
its symbols in its architecture harbouring dark secrets that most of us
are unaware of. There are tunnels, temples and symbols in the structures
and buildings of the capital. Langdon recognises that the severed hand
of his mentor carries symbols of an ancient invitation to crack a
long-hidden code leading to a long lost world of esoteric wisdom. He
plunges into a world of dangerous intrigue that matches the world of
007.
The story is interestingly weaved with elements of Noetic
science, the study of the vast potential of the human mind and how the
architecture of all the most famous buildings of Washington DC were
built based on Freemason beliefs of its earliest leaders.
Read the story but don't simply swallow the plot lock, stock and barrel.
"To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the
world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the
books."
- The Secret Teachings of All Ages
Extract from "Becoming a Person of Influence" by John Maxwell and Jim Dornan
Here's
a story by Helen Mrosla, a teaching nun. She told about her experience
with Mark Eklund, a student she had taught in third grade and then again
in junior high math. Here's her story:
One Friday [in the
classroom] things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new
concept all week, and I sensed that the students were growing frustrated
with themselves -- and edgy with one another. I had to stop this
crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names
of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a
space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing
they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment, but
as the students left the room, each handed me their paper.
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet
of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that
individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Some of them
ran two pages. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I
heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't
know others liked me so much!"
No one ever mentioned those
papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class
or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had
accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and
one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several
years later, after I had returned from a vacation, my parents met me at
the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual
questions about the trip: How the weather was, my experiences in
general. There was a slight lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a
sideways glance and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat.
"The Eklunds called last night," he began.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them for several years. I wonder how Mark is."
Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The
funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend."
To this day I could still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad
told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military
coffin before...The church was packed with Mark's friends. [His old
classmate] Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why
did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough
at the grave side. The pastor said the usual prayers and the bugler
played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the
coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.
I was the last one to
bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had acted as
a pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I
nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a
lot," he said.
After the funeral most of Mark's former
classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and
father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you
something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They
found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize
it."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces
of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded
many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on
which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had
said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said.
"As you can see, Mark treasured it."
Mark's classmates started
to gather around us. Chuck smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still
have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." John's wife
said, "John asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine
too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate,
reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and
frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicky
said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."
That's when I finally sat down and cried.
Extract from "Becoming a Person of Influence" by John Maxwell and Jim Dornan.
Malaysia and The Club of Doom by Syed Akhbar Ali
Syed
Akhbar Ali was a banker for 10 years and now he runs his family-owned
jewelry business in Kuala Lumpur. A no-nonsense author who is pro-BN and
anti-opposition, especially Anwar Ibrahim, he also served as a
consultant for the National Economic Action Council (NEAC) for a while.
Syed Akhbar Ali says it as he sees it and he labels almost all the
Islamic countries in the world, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan,
Afghanistan, Egypt, etc. as doomed states. Hence, the title of this
book, "Malaysia and The Club of Doom." Just a minute, I did not include
Malaysia into the list of doomed states? Well, the author says Malaysia
is saved because of the high proportion of non-Muslims who have embraced
a progressive way of life using science and technology while the
Muslims have too much religion and
hence, are hindered in their efforts by the various religious bodies
coming out with fatwas that prohibit them from doing this and that.
Consequently, Muslims dwell too much on the form and not the substance.
They concern themselves too much with issues like making the tudung
compulsory, spying on others to catch khalwat cases, making sure Muslims
do not celebrate the Valentine's Day, etc. that are not economically
productive. Islam, according to the author, is a deen, a way of life and
not just a religion.
Even among the Muslims, there are so many
schools of thought that one school considers another a deviant sect and
would bomb the others, if not throw them into jail. This is what is
happening in Pakistan, Egypt, Iraq and a number of other Muslim
countries where the Muslims are killing themselves. They are automatic
members of the Club of Doom.
I mentioned that author used to be
a banker. He insists that there is no such thing as Islamic banking and
that some of these banks (especially the Middle East ones) employ
methods of computation that could end up much more expensive than
conventional banking.
This book is available at the MPH. I
could not find a copy and wrote to the author who kindly pointed me to
its availability. You can order it via the internet on the MPH web site
and get a 10% discount and have it courier-delivered to you free of
charge. The catch is, each order must be at least RM100.00. Use your
children's name to order so that they can use the receipt for tax
deduction.
Happy reading!
Telling It Straight by Marina Mahathir
If one has any misgivings about reading anything written by Marina because of who here father is, he should rid himself of this prejudice. Marina writes from her heart about issues that are dear to her. Issues such as AIDS and how the authorities in our country are in a state of denial, and how their actions (sometimes seemingly ignorant and sometimes seemingly stupid) are not helping the situation at all. She talks fearlessly about the religious authorities and their apparent mindless actions and how she worries about the obvious inequality they have imposed on Muslim women. She also talks about how the political leaders make ignorant decisions about the internet and blogging, making themselves the laughing stock and suggesting that these leaders should learn about Blogging 101. Marina writes with passion in an engaging and humorous style, making her writings a very enjoyable reading exercise.
Excerpt from "Teamwork Makes the Dream Work" by John Maxwell
A
few years ago in Seattle, Washington, nine finalists were poised at the
starting line of a 400 meter race, each planning to do his best and
hoping to win the medal for the first place.
As the gun went
off, the races sprinted toward the finish line. But one of the runners
fell down. He quickly got up and gave his all to catch up with the
others. But once again, he fell. His frustration totally overcame him,
and he burst into tears and began to sob loudly.
Then a
strange thing happened. The rest of the field heard his cries, and they
turned to see that he was lying on the track. The runners began to slow
down, and then one by one, they stopped, turned around, and went back to
him. They picked him up, consoled him, and then together, all nine of
them finished the race. In a race made for individual glory, the racers had made themselves into a team.
Where in the world could something like this happen? At the Special Olympics. Perhaps that's why they are called "special"?
Excerpt from "Teamwork Makes the Dream Work" by John Maxwell.
"Together we can do the impossible".
Extract from "Today Matters" by John Maxwell
Several
years ago, James Patterson and Peter Kim published the results of a
national survey on morals in The Day America Told The Truth. They shared
some of the things people said they would do for money. Here are some
of the things people said they would be willing to do for $10 million
(along with the percentage of people who would do it). They would...
* Abandon their entire family (25 percent).
* Become prostitutes for one week or more (23 percent).
* Give up their American citizenship (16 percent).
* Leave their spouse (16 percent).
* Withhold testimony, letting a murderer go free (10 percent).
* Kill a stranger (7 percent).
* Put up their children for adoption (3 percent).
If those findings don't show that some people believe money will bring them happiness, nothing does!
Extract from "Today Matters" by John Maxwell.
Extract from "Developing the Leader Within You" by John Maxwell
This is a favorite poem of mine. It describes those bland, safe people:
There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played.
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he one day passed away,
His insurance was denied.
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never died.
Extract from "Developing the Leader Within You" by John Maxwell.
Extract from "Developing the Leader Within You" by John Maxwell
One
of my favorite stories is about a newly hired traveling salesman who
sent his first sales report to the home office. It stunned the brass in
the sales department because it was obvious that the new salesman was
ignorant! This is what he wrote: "I seen this outfit which they ain't
never bot a dim's worth of nothing from us and I sole them some goods.
I'm now goin to Chicawgo."
Before the man could be given the
heave-ho by the sales manager, along came this letter from Chicago: "I
cum hear and sole them haff a million."
Fearful if he did, and
afraid if he didn't fire the ignorant salesman, the sales manager dumped
the problem in the lap of the president. The following morning, the
ivory-towered sales department members were amazed to see posted on the
bulletin board above the two letters written by the ignorant salesman
this memo from the president: "We ben spendin two much time yrying to
spel instead of trying to sel. Let's watch those sails. I want everbody
should read these letters from Gooch who is on the rode doin a grate job
for us and you should go out and do like he done."
Extract from "Developing the Leader Within You" by John Maxwell.
Joke taken from the book "A Portfolio of Business Jokes" with cartoons by Bill Stott
In a row of small shops one shopkeeper was becoming unnerved by the huge hard-sell signs going up in his rivals' windows:
PRICES CUT TO THE BONE
NOWHERE CHEAPER
SERVICE, SMILES, SATISFACTION.
QUALITY YOU CAN AFFORD
He sat down and thought. And put up just one sign across his doorway, in bold but dignified print:
MAIN ENTRANCE
Joke taken from the book "A Portfolio of Business Jokes" with cartoons by Bill Stott.
Extract from "The Choice is Yours" by John Maxwell
People
are uniquely different in many ways. That makes it interesting for us
to meet different people in the course of both our work and social
lives. Each person is special and he has his preferences in life,
including how he communicates with other people. They may not even be
aware of their preferences but understanding them makes us better
communicators and more sensitive to the needs of others.
The following is an extract from a study:
"People communicate of their feelings and attitudes...
* 7 percent through words
* 38 percent through tone of voice, and
* 55 percent through nonverbal signals"
Extract from "The Choice is Yours" by John Maxwell.
Extract from "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell
As
we neared the end of the twentieth century, much was written about the
men and women who survived the Depression and fought World War II, the
people Tom Brokaw called "the greatest generation." I recall reading a
story about a woman of that generation who followed her husband during
the war to a U.S. Army camp in the desert of southern California. The
man had advised against it, thinking that she would be more comfortable
back East with her family, but the young bride didn't want to be
separated from her new husband.
The only living accommodation
they could find was a run-down shack near a Native American village. The
place was very basic. During the day, temperatures often reached 115
degrees. The wind, which blew constantly, felt like air from a furnace.
And the dust made everything miserable.
The young woman found the days to be long and boring. Her only
neighbors were Native Americans with whom she could find little in
common. When her husband was sent into the desert for two weeks of
maneuvers, she broke down. The living conditions and loneliness were too
much for her. She wrote her mother to say that she wanted to come home.
A short time later, she received a reply from home. One of the things her mother told her was this:
Two men looked through prison bars;
One saw mud, the other saw stars.
As the young woman read the lines over and over, at first she felt
ashamed. The her resolve grew. She truly wanted to stay with her
husband, so she made a decision. She would look for the stars.
The next day, she worked to make friends with her neighbors. As she got
to know them, she also asked them to teach her about their weaving and
pottery. At first they were reluctant, but as they saw that her interest
in them and their work was genuine, they became more open. The more the
woman learned about the Native American culture and history, the more
she wanted to know. Her perspective started changing. Even the desert
began to look different to her. She began to appreciate its quiet
beauty, its tough but beautiful plants, even the rocks and fossilized
seashells she found as she explored it. She even began to write about
her experiences there.
What had changed? Not the desert. Not
the people who lived there. She had changed. Her attitude had
transformed -- and as a result, so did her outlook.
The
happiest people in life don't necessarily have the best of everything.
They just try to make the best of everything. They're like the person in
a remote village going to a well every day to get water who says,
"Every time I come to this well, I come away with my bucket full!"
instead of "I can't believe I have to keep coming back to this well to
fill up my bucket!"
A person's attitude has a profound influence on his approach to life.
Extract from "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell.
Extract taken from "Winning with People" by John Maxwell
A
few years ago when I traveled to New Zealand to do a conference, I
stayed in a hotel in Christchurch. One evening I was thirsty and started
looking for a Coke machine. When I couldn't find one and I saw a door
marked "Staff", I figured I'd go in and see if anyone in there could
help me. I didn't find a hotel worker or a drink machine there, but I
did observe something interesting. As I approached the door to go back
out into the hall, I found that the door had a full-length mirror with
the following words: "Take a good look at yourself. This is what the
customer sees." The hotel's management was reminding employees that to
fulfill their purpose, they needed to take a look at themselves.
Extract taken from "Winning with People" by John Maxwell.
How to Speak English Without Really Trial
"How
to Speak English Without Really Trial" is a satire about the poor
English used by the ex-President of the Philippines, Joseph Estrada
("Erap" to Filipinos). A group of his friends (including his English
teacher) decided, with his approval, to compile many of the times when
he said the wrong things and used the wrong words, often with hilarious
consequences.
Joseph was a mega film star in the Philippines
before he entered politics and he still has many fans (and mistresses in
his heyday) until today, even after he was removed from office for
corruption.
The book makes very light reading and has more
illustrations than words but it is expensive. A colleague of mine
working in the Philippines bought it for me many years ago at about
RM70.00.
An example:
Interviewer to Erap: "Sir, I understand you were once charged with sedition."
Erap: "Sedition? Never! Perhaps seduction, yes. But not sedition. I never sediced anybody!"
Joseph Estrada is a colourful character indeed.
Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things - compiled by Amir Muhammad
"Malaysian
Politicians Say the Darndest Things", a compilation of all the
foot-in-the-mouth statements made by our politicians over the years. The
compilation was the bright idea of Amir Muhammad. Some say the most
ignorant things and some make sexist or racist statements, often hurting
others and while we may laugh at them, it's a national tragedy as these
are the very leaders who are elected by us and who are supposed to
represent our interest. So, what has gone wrong?
Here are some examples:
1. "They (taxi drivers who cheat tourists) should be lined up against
the wall and shot. They are the new enemies, the same as communists. I
am not joking, this is a serious matter. If they can be shot, all the
better."
- Culture, Arts and Tourism
Minister Kadir Sheikh Fadzir, commenting on a report that about 70% of
taxi drivers in Kuala Lumpur would take tourists for a ride, and not in a
good way. (Berita Harian, 26, August 2002).
2. "Malaysian men
are easy to service. (Their) libido lasts only five minutes. A shorter
period would mean more customers and that makes it more lucrative for
the sex workers to conduct their activities here."
- Selangor
Menteri Besar Mohd Khir Toyo, explaining why there were many foreign
prostitutes in Malaysia. At a forum for Wanita MCA members. (The Malay
Mail, 14 February, 2003).
3. "Many roads are closed for pasar malam (night markets). Why can't we close the roads for our Mat Rempit once a week?"
- Putra UMNO Chairman Abdul Azeez Abdul Aziz, suggesting that the
illegal bike racers (whom he had previously dubbed "an asset to the
country") should become a tourist attraction. (The New Straits Times, 28
August, 2006). These racers had often been accused of criminal
behaviour and the same perception still holds today. But as they
comprised mainly young Malay men of no known political affiliation, UMNO
did not want to alienate them.
Dos and Don'ts of Medicines - published by the CAP
"Medicines"
is a book published by the Consumers' Association of Penang (CAP). CAP
is the most active consumers body in Malaysia and its work is well-known
internationally. They also publish a regular newsletter.
It's
funny that though medicine is a serious topic affecting all of us, young
and old, young people are not really as interested until they grow
older. Then suddenly health issues become all important. I guess you are
usually pretty healthy when you are young and health conditions become
very much a part of you as you age.
So, is your knowledge of
medicines confined to Panadol pills for headaches? Are you aware that if
you take more than you should, you could expose yourself to a serious
health condition?
Ask yourself
some of these questions. Does your doctor tell you the name of the
medicines he prescribes to you and does he answer your questions if you
ask about side effects? Does your doctor ask you about your possible
allergies before he prescribes certain drugs?
Do you stop
taking the entire course of antibiotics prescribed for a flu or cold
when you get better after taking them for a couple of days? Do you take
an extra dosage without asking the doctor when your condition worsens?
Or do you keep some unfinished medicine and pass it on to another who
may suffer from similar conditions because the medicine was perceived as
effective for your condition?
If the answer is yes for at
least some of the above questions, you need to read this book. The
ramifications of your actions could be very serious! Some of the real
examples quoted in the book are quite frightening!
It pays to be knowledgeable about your medicines! Read the book from CAP!
Asia: Future Shock by Michael Blackman
"Asia:
Future Shock" by Michael Blackman is a book that tries to look into
trends in various Asian countries that will most likely affect the
future of these countries. Michael Blackman is a name already known to
many Malaysians because of several articles he wrote for overseas
dailies which did not speak well of the events happening in this
country.
However, it's not just Malaysia. In several Asian
countries, the governments curtail freedom in various ways. Most
notably, there is no free access to the internet and where there is
sometimes limited access, there is already heavy censorship. He also
discusses the governmental controls over other forms of media, notably
the newspapers. In Malaysia he has only not-so-good things to say about
our government's policies which he believes is curtailing foreign direct
investments (FDI) into the country. Blackman's contentions are often
backed by figures and statistics.
To some extent, the book is
like Alvin Toffler's "Future Shock." But Michael Blackman is a futurist
of another sort. He does not predict future trends on technology like
Toffler does. Instead, he talks about possible future scenarios for
these countries based on what he sees now.
It's a very interesting read, as all my friends who have read this book have told me.
Employment Relationship - published by MEF
This
is a hard cover book (usually meaning it's expensive. This book costs
RM200.00) on employment relationship was published by the MEF (Malaysian
Employer Federation), a body representing the employers in our country.
Apart from the lawyers specializing in industrial relations law, the
other parties well-versed in employment issues are the labour officers
(from the Labour Department), the industrial relations officers (from
the Industrial Relations Department), the officers at the MEF, the union
officers dealing with such matters and some of the human resource
personnel hired by the private companies. I said some, simply because
there are many personnel officers who are good at doing payrolls and
computation of leave or overtime payments, mainly dealing with the
administrative aspects of the work but detached from the more serious issues of the human resources of the company.
Anyway, this book deals with the legal aspects of employment in our
country. It deals with the contractual relationship between the employer
and the employees. It deals extensively with topics like the different
kinds of employment contract, the different types of leave available to
the employee according to our employment-related legislations, issues on
termination of employment and most of the common questions that
employers and employees would ask.
It's a good read for an
employer if you need to know more about what you can do and what you
can't do in the course of employing a worker, whether he's acting within
the law For the employee, he will know what his rights are.
But of course, many of the laws need to be interpreted correctly and
this is often a cause for disharmony in industrial relations.
Everyone of is bound to be an employer or an employee at some point of this life. That makes a book like this one relevant.
The Sages by Charles R. Morris
The
world has seen many disruptions to the financial markets of late, some
of which I would describe as "violent". Many of us have sought to
understand the factors that have caused such turbulence but clear
answers have eluded us. For one thing, there are many gurus who proclaim
to know of the reasons and the solutions but who exactly is right? The
subprime debacle in the US has cost billions of dollars in perceived
wealth to be written off, leaving many Americans in a lurch, even until
today. And its economy has shown few signs of recovery. The world has
been affected adversely too.
In the gloomy clouds of such a
background there are many who see opportunity and have proven that there
are principles that one can observe to make money from investments
during such times of pessimism. Hence, "The Sages" such as Warren Buffet, George Soros and Paul Volker. They tell you what they usually do and how they did it.
But a word of caution though. Never, never be guided by greed under the
guise of wisdom from these gurus. Greed blinds a man to reason and
moderation. Greed always leads a man to the path of destruction. Listen
to the sages (wise men) but always be alert and don't be greedy. And
never put all our eggs in one basket. The sages won't be around to bail
you out.
Always be mindful that the financial models today are
very different from the ones that we used to know. Being conservative
may not make you lots of money but it also ensures that you don't lose
your pants when others do!
Happy investing!
UP YOUR SERVICE! - Great Ideas by Ron Kaufman
Ron
Kaufman is undoubtedly the guru of customer service. He is an
Australian based in Singapore and comes to Malaysia almost every year to
give seminars on, well, what else but customer service! He's energetic
and interesting and it's no wonder his seminars are extremely popular
despite being priced above the average.
Ron has written
several books, the most popular is "UP YOUR SERVICE! - Great Ideas." And
I can assure you that his books are very interesting to read. He has an
interesting and wide range of stories to tell, about what to do and
what not to do so as to keep your existing customers and to bring in new
ones. His chapters follow an interesting and practical format which is
easy to follow and we learn the points without even realizing them. His
anecdotes are often humorous and sometimes one wonders how large corporations and MNCs can make such mistakes, mistakes that put off their best customers.
Once you have read this book, you will find yourself recognizing and
observing good and poor customer service wherever you go. Sometimes the
product may be good, the organization is great but a poorly trained
floor staff who ignores the customer or who is not empowered to make
customer friendly decisions can really put off the all-important
customer.
I have taken the liberty of photographing a cartoon
from the book's many illustrations as an example of Ron's use of humour
to put across an important point - "Try to exceed the customer's
expectations to truly win his/her heart."
For those really
interested in this subject, I would recommend that you attend Ron's
seminar and get some of Ron's energy and enthusiasm transferred to you!
His book will still give you countless ideas for thought if you can't
make it. He also sends updates and some ideas through e-mail and
Facebook (I am sure he tweets too though I've yet to confirm this) for
those interested.
Ten Short Stories by Roald Dahl
Roald
Dahl is a favourite author among many children as well as adults. Most
of us should relate his name to his most famous book, "Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory" which was made into a popular film. Roald has a style
of writing that is simple and appealing, and yet you cannot help
feeling that there is another message at another level. So while an
innocent and wonderful is enjoyed as it is, there could be something
else to read into.
Someone once said that there can be no other
greater short story write than Roald Dahl. Of course, this is debatable
but the statement goes to show his high standing among the community of
short story writers.
The use of the word "unexpected" is quite
common when readers are asked to describe Roald's short story endings.
Many short story writers have such endings too but Roald can bring about such a twist that leaves the reader in total wonderment.
I have read this compilation of short stories many times over and still have a sense of excitement every time I pick it up.
If you have yet to encounter Roald Dahl's books, it's time to start on
this self-enrichment journey with many happy children and adults all
over the world!
Wednesday, 4 September 2013
Leadership and Self-Deception
We
have often heard the phrase "thinking outside the box". It means
thinking beyond the norms and conventions, from a new perspective. This
phrase often refers to novel or creative thinking. It seems easy but
it's never at all. Zig Zigler, the world-renowned speaker on motivation,
will attest to this.
The catchphrase has become a cliché
widely used in business environments, especially by management
consultants and executive coaches. To think outside the box is to look
further and to try not thinking of the obvious things, but to try
thinking beyond them.
The Arbinger Institute has come up with
this book to teach, in a rather fun way, how to identify problems and
get your priorities right to enable you to think more creatively and
hence, "think outside the box".
The book is written in the form of a story of a new "potentially
bright" management recruit who finds his colleagues in the new company
"different". He was asked to meet up with the CEO who then talks to him
in a way to make him see the benefits of thinking in a new way.
There is a workbook for this but reading this "Leadership and
Self-Deception" book is a good start already. So, what is the main
obstacle to thinking outside the box? As you can guess already, it's
self-deception. We think our way is good and hence, we do not look
beyond a personal viewpoint.
The book is not a thick one and
can be read in a day or two. It may take longer if we pause to think and
self-examine. But the price is a killer. RM50.00.
But for those who can afford this, it's a good buy.
Body Language by Allan Pease
Have
you heard of NLP? NLP means Neuro Linguistic Programming. It's a fairly
modern development that is used to condition our senses to read what's
on the mind of others and this is in turn used to persuade them to our
viewpoints. Many sales and marketing professionals use NLP these days to
achieve their goals.
Long before NLP we had other tools and
skills and one such key area of knowledge was the study of body
language. If you pay attention to those you interact with, you will note
the way they posture themselves and the way they move their body point
to certain things on their mind. And they are quite unaware that their
body is telling others what's on their mind.
"Body Language" by
Allan Pease tells us exactly that. The book tells us how to read the
thoughts of others through their body gestures. If a person keeps
folding his arms while communicating with you, chances are he's being
defensive about something. This book has lots of photos and drawings to
illustrate what each posture and body gesture indicates.
It's a
helpful book for those who wish not just to understand other people in a
direct communication process, but also to improve one's communication
skills.
Asian - Words of Wisdom
This
is a book of quotations from some of Asia's leading thinkers. Some of
the quotations are from current Asian leaders, of countries and of
leading corporations, while the others are from leaders who have since
passed on. And they include historical names such as Confucious, Lao
Tze, Buddha, Mahatma Ghandi, Kahlil Gilbran and Mencius. There are also
proverbs from Asian countries. From Malaysia you will find quotations
from Dr Mahathir and Rafidah Aziz.
The quotations are divided
into categories such as leadership, marketing, personal development,
customer service and continuous learning.
I cannot deny that I
am sometimes motivated by some excellent and apt quotations. And this is
one book on quotations that I am really fond of.
Here are some extracts:
"A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song." - Chinese Proverb
"In case of rain, protect your customers with your umbrellas and walk them to their cars." - Toyota Sales Manual
"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." - the Dalai Lama
There is always an occasion when an apt quotation be an impactful tool to bring a point across.
Laughter is the Best Malaysian
David
Tong is a fun-loving Malaysian like all of us. He's a retired teacher
who believes in laughter being the best medicine for his health and his
bones. He has taken the trouble to put into writing all the jokes he has
heard, jokes that made him laugh, and he wishes all of us to laugh with
him.
I was at a hotel one day when I had some time to kill.
And I went into the small bookshop tucked in a remote corner of the
place. My eyes fell on this book almost immediately and I felt that I
had to buy it. Well, this is good reading when one needs a laugh.
The author has customised most of the jokes into Malaysian settings.
Understanding Voluntary Organizations by Charles Handy
There
are so many voluntary organizations around us today that sometimes we
don't even know that they are voluntary in nature. Or are they really
voluntary? The Red Cross, Lions, Leo Club, Befrienders are some
examples. Nowadays many just call themselves NGOs (Non-governmental
Organizations). There was a time when such organizations would call
themselves "non-profit" or "not-for-profit" organizations.
That
aside, how do such voluntary organizations work? Where do they get
their funds and manpower? How are they managed? Do they function like
commercial organizations?
I am sure some of these questions
must have crossed your mind at some point in time. Charles Handy seeks
to answer many of these questions and dwells in detail on the management
styles you would find and how some people with sincere
hearts and a matching passion have found out the hard way that these
two qualities may not be sufficient to successfully manage and lead a
voluntary organization, depending on what the organization's aims are.
Voluntary organizations should not be too lofty in their aims. To quote
Charles Handy, "To bring peace to the world is the sort of task that
only gods should take on; lesser mortals would be wise to set less
ambitious goals lest they feel forever frustrated." He means that each
voluntary organization should have realistic and possibly quantifiable
goals so that the degree of success can be measure and planning done to
improve the chances of success.
Most of us don't really dwell
on this subject but if you have time and would like to think about it,
Charles Handy's book is a good read. He has good examples but of course,
most of them are western models.
The Silent Roar by Raja Petra Kamarudin
Are
you a fan of Raja Petra Kamarudin? Or were you one of those who was
glued to his blog, Malaysia Today, until he was accused of betraying the
opposition?
Whatever your stand is, I am sure there was a time
when most of us read many of Raja Petra's astounding exposes and
revelations about what was going on behind the political scenes. As
ordinary citizens, most of us did not have a clue as to what was going
on behind the scenes where government decisions were made, contracts
were awarded, appointments were made and so many other important
national issues that were hogging the headlines.
For some
reason, Raja Petra seemed to have a line (no, several lines) to these
happenings. People in the know who were willing to talk to him gave him
an endless source for his high profile and sometimes
almost incredible stories. For the lack of better things to read, most
of us continually lapped up the stories and sometimes rubbish he dished
out to us.
It goes without saying that gossip and intrigue are
more interesting that staid news. And one of his doings eventually got
Raja Petra into trouble, landing hi in jail and then eventually exile in
London where he remains today.
"The Silent Roar" is a collection of some of Raja Petra's earlier articles that still make interesting reading.
Timeless Tales From Many Lands
This is a wonderful read for children but who isn't a kid at heart? What I am leading you to is to tell you that yes, I do read story books meant for children. And unabashedly, with relish!
"Timeless Tales From Many Lands" is a compilation from Reader's Digest
and I picked up a copy from a bookshop in Petaling Jaya some months ago
and fell in love with the romance of faraway lands the moment I started
reading it.
Tales such as The Monster with Emerald Teeth, The
Beginning of Narran Lake, Why Wolves Chase Deer and many more filled
some of my nights with joy.
This is a highly recommended read for children and for adults whose hearts have been left with the childhood days!
Italian Folktales by Italo Calvino
There
are times when I don't want to read anything serious. I just want to
settle down comfortably with a book that indulges in fantasies,
thievery, scoundrels, wizardry, kings and princes, queens and princesses
and all that would allow my imagination to roam without a worry.
This is when I would pick up a book like "Italian Folktales" compiled
and translated by Italo Calvino. This is a fairly thick volume and there
are at least a few hundred stories in it. As befitting the Italian
tradition, there are lots of stories about love and how it is tested by
black magic. Just like the ones we used to read when we were kids but
the language is not as simple as in those books meant for kids. No
illustrations and the print is small. But the stories are great!
I picked this up for a few ringgit at a Penguin book sale and it has given me an enormous amount of pleasure since.
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Thanks by Robert A. Emmons
Gratitude
is an oft ignored quality and few would disagree with this assertion.
Robert Emmons is a world leading expert on the psychology of gratitude
and he has made a science of how the practice of gratitude can empower
us and enrich our lives to a level beyond our expectations.
While this subject of gratitude is interesting, the book can constitute somewhat heavy reading.
The author takes pains to point out how gratitude is a crucial
component of happiness that most of us have often overlooked. He also
points out how ingratitude is almost a crime.
Gratitude can also empower us to overcome trying times. We are talking
about gratitude to both God and man (the people around us). The book
encourages us to be positive and to make being grateful attitudinal.
We could experience a life-changing view of life if we succeed in
embodying gratitude into our everyday lives, that is, when we practise
being grateful everyday.
There are not many books on this subject and it's worth a read and a return reference every now and then.
Outliers-The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
Malcolm
Gladwell defied the conventional explanations for success in this book
"Outliers". When he wrote this book, he was already famous for his
previous bestseller publications in "The Tipping Point" and "Blink",
which I shall discuss later. Malcolm is a staff writer at the New Yorker
and prior to this, he was a business and science reporter at Washington
Post.
Outliers, as they are described in his book, refer to
extremely successful people. They are outside the norms we would accept
for the definition for successful people. They are even better. While
most stories about successful people would talk about hard work,
resilience in the face of hardship and persistence, Gladwell takes the
story in another direction. He tells us that if we truly want to know
how and why some people thrive and
become immensely successful, we should look around them, at their
family, their birthplace, or even their birth date. It's not what we
would think, like how the Chinese and Indians would look into the Book
of Knowledge or consult a priest on numerology and astrology. Instead we
should look at the opportunities offered by that period of time and how
social patterns and decisions made by the parents and the subjects
themselves.
The lives of Outliers follow an unexpected pattern
of logic and Gladwell helps us follow this pattern with his meticulous
examples. There are similarities in the paths taken by the Beatles and
Bill Gates, and even Mozart. And using social patterns, he even explains
why aviation accidents happen more to certain airlines. And also why
Asian students are beating the daylights out of their Western
counterparts in the study of mathematics.
In a way I see
Malcolm Gladwell as a social scientist. This book is not the normal
human development book. Yes, it explores patterns to understand why
certain people are extremely successful. It explores our human
potential. Though a non-fiction book that contains some statistics, it's
far from being boring. I was riveted to the book from start to finish
within a few days.
Some Untold Stories by R Nadewaran
After months of painstaking investigations together with Terrance Fernandez, R Nadeswaran from The Sun finally managed to piece together a picture of the mega PKFZ (Port Klang Freetrade Zone) and the instances of mismanagement, deliberate and otherwise, leading to the eventual indictment of some top MCA leaders who were members of the Malaysian cabinet. The paper trail was often obscure and it was an achievement indeed on the part of these two dedicated investigative journalists that the sham behind the PKFZ was exposed and it became a national scandal costing the taxpayers RM12.5 billion.
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